How to Increase Your Capacity for “Hard-to-Hear” Feedback

A highly coachable individual seeks out, is open to, and integrates feedback to drive performance. Feedback can be thought of as the “shared language” used to exchange information and observations between colleagues. In other words, feedback is the mechanism for individuals and groups to evaluate “how are we really doing?” Ongoing feedback processes help individuals and teams to understand their progress towards goals and help clarify what action is needed in order to improve collective efforts and results. 

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But, not all feedback is created equal.

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Sometimes, we receive feedback that confirms our understanding of something or even boosts our confidence in our efforts.

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Other times, you think you’re on track and a supervisor or coach gives you some “hard-to-hear” feedback. Maybe it was hard to hear because you felt confident in how you were performing or you just plain disagreed with what was said. Regardless of the reason, the highly coachable individual listens to this feedback with a sense of curiosity, confidence, and accountability.

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The psychology of receiving feedback

“Am I open to changing?”

How feedback is received can be explained largely by the cognitive psychology principle of sensemaking. Simply, sensemaking is how an individual processes information in order to better understand the world around them. Sensemaking is what occurs when new or conflicting information is presented to an individual and is essential to the individual learning and development process (Helpap & Bekmeier-Feuerhahn, 2016). 

Sensemaking has the potential to impact one’s receptivity or resistance to feedback and subsequent willingness to make changes or take action towards goals. Receptivity and resistance to change are influenced by cognitive processes, both implicit and explicit (thoughts, feelings, behaviors) (Gonzalez et al., 2023; Mikel-Hong et al., 2024). Openness to feedback and change is predicated on a willingness to make sense of new experiences and consider new information, regardless of the emotional response it may elicit. A feedback recipient must work through all of the information presented to them (and acknowledge potential feelings of emotional discomfort) in order to initiate action towards necessary changes; this happens through sensemaking. 

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“Why am I feeling defensive?”

Interestingly, negative emotions do not have a statistically significant relationship with intention to resist change (Helpap & Bekmeier-Feuerhahn, 2016). In other words, it is expected and is worth normalizing that the feedback process has the potential to elicit uncomfortable feelings, and further, an initial emotional reaction does not indicate one’s own level of coachability or willingness to incorporate feedback. In fact, emotional reactions can be indicative that an individual cares and wants to do good work! However, conscious awareness of this process is the first step in bolstering one’s capacity to receive and integrate feedback as well as decrease defensiveness.

Self-affirmation bias is another reason why an individual may get defensive when receiving "hard-to-hear" or conflicting feedback. If an individual sees themselves in one light but is given feedback that contradicts this, it may feel hard for the feedback recipient to consider the information as humans are constantly trying to align reality with their self-view (Ashford et al. 2016; Gong et al., 2014). 

For example, if an individual perceives that they are a strong performer or “good” at a particular skill, but receive corrective or constructive feedback from someone else in this area, the individual may discount or devalue that feedback to try to align reality (i.e., “there is room for improvement”) with the way they see themselves (i.e., “I am ‘good’ at this skill”). This results in the discounting of well-intentioned and quality feedback.

In this instance, sensemaking assists an individual to work through the disparate information and self-affirmation bias. Practically speaking, this means that a feedback recipient knows that “hard-to-hear feedback” is meant to boost their abilities and self-image, not threaten it, even if the initial emotional response of a message is uncomfortable.

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Coachability as the tool for navigating “hard-to-hear feedback”

At CCI, we know that organizational cultures that prioritize feedback processes are more likely to achieve stronger performance outcomes. Coaches and their coachees have the ability to contribute to their larger organization’s bottom-line results through iterative processes predicated on ongoing feedback between colleagues (Pousa & Matthieu, 2015). Thus, in a rapidly changing world and macroeconomic landscape, an organization’s collective coachability and culture of feedback can be considered a competitive advantage. 

Further, research demonstrates coachability drives performance. Individuals that are highly coachable perform at 10% higher levels, are 28% more agile, and are 30% more promotable when compared to their moderately coachable counterparts (Weiss, 2019; Weiss & Merrigan, 2021). In other words, the highly coachable individual understands that feedback and coaching fuel their growth and performance, leading them to actively – vs. passively – engage in feedback processes and, further, translate “hard-to-hear feedback” into action.

We also know that resistance to change is normal and often unintentional (Mikel-Hong et al., 2024)! While it is imperative not to get emotionally charged upon receiving feedback, it is important to acknowledge and understand emotional responses to explain how or why we are experiencing a piece of feedback in a certain way. Sensemaking explains that growth and development occur throughout the feedback process - regardless of the emotional response it elicits - via honest reflection and experimentation (Steigenberger, 2015).

Coachability emphasizes the importance of action towards creating change. Sometimes that means that the feedback recipient acquires more information from the feedback provider in order to effectively take initiative. Other times, it means that the feedback recipient must be honest about their strengths and limitations in order to develop a clear plan for incorporating feedback. Regardless, the highly coachable individual is aware of and is accountable for this internal process that is necessary for igniting their development and driving results.

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Visit us at www.coachabilityconsultants.com to learn more about how we can help foster higher levels of coachability in your organization.

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REFERENCES 

Ashford, S. J., De Stobbeleir, K., & Nujella, M. (2016). To seek or not to seek: Is that the only question? Recent developments in feedback-seeking literature. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 3(1), 213-239.

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Gong Y, Wang M, Huang JC, Cheung SY. 2014. Toward a goal orientation-based feedback-seeking typology: implications for employee performance outcomes. J. Manag. 39:1924–51

Gonzalez, K., Portocarrero, F. F., & Ekema, M. L. (2023). Disposition activation during organizational change: A meta‐analysis. Personnel Psychology, 76(3), 829–883. https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12513.

Helpap, S., & Bekmeier-Feuerhahn, S. (2016). Employees’ emotions in change: advancing the sensemaking approach. Journal of Organizational Change Management, 29(6), 903–916. https://doi.org/10.1108/JOCM-05-2016-0088Li

Mikel-Hong, K., Li, N., Yu, J. (Joya), & Chen, X. (2024). Resistance to Change: Unraveling the Roles of Change Strategists, Agents, and Recipients. Journal of Management, 50(6), 1984-2011. https://doi.org/10.1177/01492063231198189.

Pousa, C., & Mathieu, A. (2015). Is managerial coaching a source of competitive advantage? Promoting employee self-regulation through coaching. Coaching : An International Journal of Theory, Research & Practice, 8(1), 20–35. https://doi.org/10.1080/17521882.2015.1009134.

Steigenberger, N. (2015). Emotions in sensemaking: a change management perspective. Journal of Organizational Change Management, 28(3), 432–451. https://doi.org/10.1108/JOCM-05-2014-0095L

Weiss, J. A. (2019). An examination of employee coachability and managerial coaching in organizations (Doctoral Dissertation). DePaul University, Chicago.

Weiss, J. & Merrigan, M. (2021). Employee Coachability: New Insights to Increase Employee Adaptability, Performance, and Promotability in Organizations. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, 19(1), 121–136. https://doi.org/10.24384/kfmw-ab52 

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